Procrastination.

So I have this examination tomorrow, in Anatomy, which has routinely kicked my butt. But instead of studying, I have effectively surfed the internet, done other homework, watched a t.v show, and chatted / texted my friends. What a grand idea. I actually love procrastinating, but I really should work..... right? I just can't wait for graduation. I'm 100% ready to be done with school. I don't think anyone could understand how much I look forward to March 22nd, when I walk up and receive that diploma. I might try to run off with it without waiting for the end of the ceremony. I'll be that excited. At this point I'm dreaming of the vacation that I would love to take this summer to Phoenix, but this time I want to take my lady Jessica, so hopefully that will work out. To me, Phoenix sounds like the difference between heaven and hell compared to good ole' Ohio State right now. I can't really complain; This place has treated me very well. I'm just ready to move on to another portion of my life where I'm not perpetually broke.

My head is going to explode. I'm studying anatomy for a quiz tomorrow and the information on the head and brain is just so in depth. It's so hard to take it all in. I am going absolutely crazy. I miss Jessica too. I haven't talked to her for 4 days now and that's a really long time to me. I hate this week already and it's only monday! 

!

Today is Sunday, February 22nd, and the significance of that date to me is that it is one day after my birthday. In the middle of an Ohio winter, this is the one thing to look forward to. Now that it's over, I pretty much am stuck to hoping this next month flies. I'm almost done with school and I want it to be over so badly. I've never been so sick of school. On top of that, I really miss talking to Jessica. I haven't talked to her in what seems like a terribly long time. It's so frustrating. this is a really annoying night.

Late Night Confessional.

It's 4:20 and I've been awake for one and a half hours now, which is extremely frustrating. I went to bed at about 8 last night because I had a splitting headache, but I didn't fall asleep until close to 11. I woke up at 2:30 and haven't been able to sleep since. Unfortunately, all the little tricks that usually help me to drift off to la la land haven't worked tonight. I've listened slow music, I've counted sheep, I've thought all the wonderful happy thoughts that a person could imagine, but still, sleep evades me. I only wish I could get enough sleep so that I can wake up at a decent time and not feel like a soggy piece of wood. 

Tomorrow I want to get a lot done. I'm a little behind on some of my homework, and I thought that getting up early would give me the perfect opportunity to catch up a bit. If I don't get to sleep soon, I won't be doing ANYTHING but sleeping. 

It's going on a month and a half now since Jessica has been gone and it gets a little worse everyday. I never thought that I would miss her as much as I do, but it's such and adjustment to move from talking everyday about all the little details in your life to only talking for a small amount every few days  and trying to decide what is important to talk about, since time is so limited. Plus, the internet connection is so unreliable, it's extremely frustrating to try to hold a conversation whilst being cut off every 30 seconds. 

Lately I've been wishing I would have gone into journalism instead of striving for a degree in Physical Therapy, of which I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to obtain. By no means do I think that I am a talented writer, but I love to write. I'm not sure if the job market is in any way open to writers (I'm assuming it's not, since just about every profession seems to be taking multiple hits) but I think it would be fulfilling to be able to write about something you enjoy for a living. I guess the internet bloggers have the ideal job; They talk about what they enjoy and they get paid because people want to read what they have to say. That sounds wonderful. I'm jealous of Jessica because she's an awesome writer and she always has interesting things to say. I wish she wrote on her blog more often! (hint hint).

Graduation is coming up fast! I can't believe I'm graduating. I know that I won't do anything in the field of study that I'm supposed to be educated in, but just the fact that I've made it through is exciting. I hope having a degree opens up a few doors for me, but I can't see how a sociology degree is attractive to any employers. Who cares about sociology? Not most people. I guess I've put all my eggs in the the PT basket. I just hope I don't spill it. I feel like I'm going to be one of those poster children for people that get out of school and don't do anything with their degree-- I'll end up working at a fast food restaurant, $50,000 in debt in school loans, doing something I could have been doing the whole time while avoiding the black hole of loans. I'm so scared to start paying these. I have a feeling it's going to be awful. 

Well, that's about all my thoughts for the morning. I hope if anyone reads this, they feel like they know how I feel about my life just a little bit better than before they read this. Enjoy your sleep everyone!

Thursdays.

Ever since college started, I've been hearing that Thursdays are the beginning of the weekend. I guess the fact that many people didn't have classes on Friday led to the thinking that partying on a Thursday night would be ideal. The problem arrises, though, when many people actually DID have classes (or work) on Fridays, but since some of their friends didn't, they would be persuaded to come out and stay up late and possibly drink as well. Unfortunately, it's all to easy to get into this type of habit: staying up late on Thursdays because of the proximity to the weekend. It really is too bad too, when all your friends go out and you're trying to get some sleep and you don't get to hang out with them that night. 

Just my two cents on the matter.

American things.

Today is the first warm day of January. It's only 36 degrees, but compared to the nasty weather we have been having here lately, it feels like spring. It's sunny too; it's almost a small miracle to have a sunny, warm day here in Ohio in the winter. I love it. Today is one of those days where there are so many things to be thankful for. It's sunny and beautiful for a January afternoon on campus, my computer was fixed for free and the $1,240 fee was waived, and I got to spend all afternoon with my friends. What a great day. 

Senior-itis is really starting to set in. I only have about 8 weeks left in school, but it's dragging by. I can't believe it's only been 3 weeks into this quarter. I just want to be done! It's crazy. 4 years flew by so quickly. 

Jessica has been in Ecuador for about 3 weeks now! It's crazy. She seems to be having a good time and she said she's learning a LOT of spanish, so that's great! I miss her a lot sometimes. It's difficult when you're used to talking to someone everyday, multiple times a day, and then you can't talk to them except through email. It's quite an adjustment. She'll be home soon enough though, and it will be great to see her. 

Come back soon JC!

Getting old

So the other day I was thinking about how my family was growing up. It's a strange thing when your family grows up. The youngest in my family is still only 15, but my oldest sister has started her own family, and it seems like our family as I remember it is almost defunct.  

I remember when my youngest sister was born, when I was a young child playing in the dirt with my younger sister Morgan, when my oldest sister first moved out. The changes that developed within my family astound me. I can't believe people undergo so many personality changes to become who you know them as. Seeing my younger sisters change from who they were to who they are and looking to who they become is as exciting as it is interesting. 

The craziest thing about getting older is realizing that your family will not be around forever - that it won't stay the same as you always remember it as a child.  Once in a while my mind wanders and I think of the future when my parents will not be with us anymore and honestly I can't imagine living without them. These thoughts are always followed by thoughts of my parent's parents passing away and understanding that all people die, but to live without them just seems unreasonable and undesirable. 

The saddest thing to grasp is that we all pass away and our family will most likely drift away from each other, seeing each other only on holidays and special occasions. We only see my grandparents once in a while on my father's side, and on my mother's we almost never see the entire family. I know this is hard on my mom, and I hope that my family always stays close so we can always enjoy each other's company.

I didn't always cherish my family like I do now. There was a time when I thought my parents were a drag, that I wished I could have families like my friends, but now I realize that I wouldn't want to trade my family for the world. They are some of the most important thing in my life.  I don't want to think about them being any different than they are now, but time changes and I know we won't ever be the same. I wish time would just freeze sometimes.