I posted this on tumblr, but it weighs heavily on my heart, so here it is again.
July of 2005 was one of the most exciting times of my life; I had just finished high school, and I was ready to move on to something that I had been looking forward to for as long as I could remember: college. Because my parents had put me in and taken me out of so many different middle schools and high schools (3 different middle schools, 3 different high schools), it was difficult for me to really “fit in” anywhere, make solid friends, or really feel like a part of something. I was grateful for my youth group, but even that was pulled away from me both by my parents - they didn’t like the governing church, and by my youth pastor, who suddenly left to go back to school. I was finally starting something new, something I would be a part of for 4 years (or more!), something that I could belong to. I found that in Ohio State.
I was originally planning on going to Eastern Michigan, for both financial reasons, and because I was immediately accepted into the program I was hoping to major in. Things changed when my parents found out who I would be rooming with. As soon as they found out that my future roommate was a homosexual, they pulled me out of enrollment. The timing couldn’t have been worse - it was August, and I schools on semesters were starting next week. I really only had one option - attend the Newark campus of Ohio State. When I learned that OSUN was my only option, I was extremely upset. I wanted to be a part of something, something big, and a branch of a school did not exactly fit the bill. My only consolation was that I was able to get an apartment with one of my closest friends from church - something that I would not have been able to do if I were a freshman on campus at just about any school. Soon after I started classes, I met another guy who has become my closest friend. Things were starting to look better, but I was still missing the one thing that I had been longing for as long as I could remember - belonging to something. Freshman year came and went, and I as soon as I could, I transferred to the main campus at Ohio State. Finally! I was a part of something! That turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Sophomore year was the year I really became extremely involved emotionally with another friend. I knew my friend (now my lady) Jessica from high school, but due to extenuating circumstances, we weren’t that close. Because we lived in the same dorm and we knew each other a little before we moved in, we started spending most, if not all, our time together. Everything that one of us was invited to do, the other came along, and we became steadfast friends. Sophomore year of college was one year that I will never forget. I had so much fun that year with my new “college” friends and got to know my girlfriend so well that I will always look back on that year as something very special.
Junior and senior years followed suite. I had a pretty typical college career, going to football and basketball games, going to parties, throwing parties, and generally goofing off and having a good time, pretty much all the time. I felt like I was a part of something - especially at the Ohio State sports games. When you’re at a football game and there are 90,000 other people screaming, hoping, willing for the same thing as you, you feel as if you’re a family, as if you are all in the same boat, and no matter what happens, you’re all together. That’s one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt.
After I graduated, I was excited to get away from the “college scene”. I had been to one too many parties, stayed up late one too many times, blew off one too many quizzes. I thought I was moving on. I moved home to continue schooling for my career and I’ve found that nothing can replace that feeling I had. I visited my friends, who were practicing 5 year seniors, and the first time I stepped back on to campus, I just felt weird. It was a feeling that is hard to describe, like seeing someone you loved move on from you. I was no longer a student at Ohio State; It had moved on to the next batch of students, the new kids who would call OSU home and new people who would soak up the pride of being able to say “This is MY school”.
I still struggle with this when I go to school and see the kids at the Marion Campus of Ohio State and I think to myself, “I wish I could be where you are”. My time has passed, but it’s hard to leave all that behind. It’s like leaving a family, and I still struggle to grasp it, but I’m thankful for the time I did have and the friends I made along the way.
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