It's 4:20 and I've been awake for one and a half hours now, which is extremely frustrating. I went to bed at about 8 last night because I had a splitting headache, but I didn't fall asleep until close to 11. I woke up at 2:30 and haven't been able to sleep since. Unfortunately, all the little tricks that usually help me to drift off to la la land haven't worked tonight. I've listened slow music, I've counted sheep, I've thought all the wonderful happy thoughts that a person could imagine, but still, sleep evades me. I only wish I could get enough sleep so that I can wake up at a decent time and not feel like a soggy piece of wood.
Tomorrow I want to get a lot done. I'm a little behind on some of my homework, and I thought that getting up early would give me the perfect opportunity to catch up a bit. If I don't get to sleep soon, I won't be doing ANYTHING but sleeping.
It's going on a month and a half now since Jessica has been gone and it gets a little worse everyday. I never thought that I would miss her as much as I do, but it's such and adjustment to move from talking everyday about all the little details in your life to only talking for a small amount every few days and trying to decide what is important to talk about, since time is so limited. Plus, the internet connection is so unreliable, it's extremely frustrating to try to hold a conversation whilst being cut off every 30 seconds.
Lately I've been wishing I would have gone into journalism instead of striving for a degree in Physical Therapy, of which I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to obtain. By no means do I think that I am a talented writer, but I love to write. I'm not sure if the job market is in any way open to writers (I'm assuming it's not, since just about every profession seems to be taking multiple hits) but I think it would be fulfilling to be able to write about something you enjoy for a living. I guess the internet bloggers have the ideal job; They talk about what they enjoy and they get paid because people want to read what they have to say. That sounds wonderful. I'm jealous of Jessica because she's an awesome writer and she always has interesting things to say. I wish she wrote on her blog more often! (hint hint).
Graduation is coming up fast! I can't believe I'm graduating. I know that I won't do anything in the field of study that I'm supposed to be educated in, but just the fact that I've made it through is exciting. I hope having a degree opens up a few doors for me, but I can't see how a sociology degree is attractive to any employers. Who cares about sociology? Not most people. I guess I've put all my eggs in the the PT basket. I just hope I don't spill it. I feel like I'm going to be one of those poster children for people that get out of school and don't do anything with their degree-- I'll end up working at a fast food restaurant, $50,000 in debt in school loans, doing something I could have been doing the whole time while avoiding the black hole of loans. I'm so scared to start paying these. I have a feeling it's going to be awful.
Well, that's about all my thoughts for the morning. I hope if anyone reads this, they feel like they know how I feel about my life just a little bit better than before they read this. Enjoy your sleep everyone!
